But not all in the same closet, please.

Make sure your location has running water, sinks, toilets, garbage service, and toilet paper. If it doesn’t, you need to supply this yourself.

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Rose City Underground episode Earthsong to play at Portland Horror Film Festival

Hellbender Media’s upcoming web series Rose City Underground explores a dark fantasy underpinning beneath the city of Portland. Its premiere episode Earthsong has been selected to play at the Portland Horror Film Festival.

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Stretch those chewy hamstrings!

Before you do stunts or other physically demanding action, take a few minutes to stretch and limber up. There’s a reason zombie hunters do it!

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Bingo! A spiny pee fish!

Please don’t ever have a character say “We’ve got company” to announce the arrival of monsters, bad guys, or other undesirables. You can do better. Likewise, “Bingo!” should probably never be used outside of the actual bingo parlor context.

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Hush!

If you can hear “Quiet on the set!” before a take, then that includes you.

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And this isn’t some European movie, now!

Always know what emotion you want your audience to feel, for every character, for every scene, and at the end of the movie. This is your compass, and as long as you follow it, you’ll always stay on track.

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Cinder blocks are sturdy.

Make your props out of something sturdy. Cardboard and balsa wood will shatter if you look at it cross-eyed.

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Naked sets are boring.

Dress your set. Walls have pictures, tables have things on them, shelves are sometimes in disarray.

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A short…. Look — a bunny!

You don’t have to make a feature every single time. You can make a short movie, ten minutes long. Or five minutes. Or even a minute long.

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Ackbar’s right, you know…

If you can set your computer up such that it can have no connectivity (such as an alternate hardware profile or a radios switch) as a bootup choice, do so and label that position “Working.” Keeps you off the Interwebs when you’re trying to get work done.

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Don’t Blow It!

If you’ve got scene cards, but you haven’t written the script yet, please number the scene cards.

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We’ve got the pow-ah!

Your location owner might have to lock their doors after a certain time, but if you ask nice, they might let you run an extension cord or two out through a little hole. Then, you can leave ’em coiled up after you’re done and come by in the morning and pick all your cords back up.

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Still, we managed.

If you’re going out on location, set up all your gear first, at the studio or at home, and then break it down into your van or car. This way, you know you have everything you need in the transport vessel.

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What did you expect for Tip #69?!

Don’t sleep with your leads, your stars. Sure, they’re attractive as crazy, but right now, your priority is making a movie.

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Choose Wisely

Trust your Assistant Director. If you can’t, then at least figure out what your expectations should be and make sure the two of you are on the same page. If your AD is both untrustworthy and unpredictable, get a new AD.

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Aieee!

Easy on using the Wilhelm Scream as a sound effect. Ten years ago, it was cute, but nowadays enough people know of it that using it actually distracts from your movie and breaks the story.

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Plus, fighting is cool!

Make every character a character that an actor can read and respond with “Man, this would be so awesome to play!”

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One-night music stand.

Don’t marry your temporary music score. It’s temporary for a reason.\

And now, a moment of silence…

Get at least one minute of clean ambient sound from every location. This is very important.

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Not to be confused with “hobo glue,” which is something completely different.

The same technique that will help you write a script will help you complete a movie: bum glue.

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But order it in advance!

If you have to rent a van, rent a van. It’s only about a hundred bucks a day, but think of what that hundred bucks gets you: You don’t have to worry about who’s bringing what piece of gear. Everybody just brings everything the few nights before to one location, and the night before, you pack it all in one van.

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Don’t be shocked!

Fix or repair broken cords, and do it right. If you can’t do it right, then cut them up and throw them away.

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And Dinner!

Remember you have a life outside of production. Everybody else does, too.

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Call it “Gravitas”

If you are using any miniatures (whether motorized or not, but especially if motorized), fill ’em with lead, wax, anything that’ll dry solid.

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Win This One!

It’s that time of year. If you’re a screenwriter, you can do a lot worse than winning or even placing in the Nicholl Fellowship.

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Noodles are for lunch!

You can noodle on a project forever. There will always be things you can fix, always things you can nudge, but that’s not progress — that’s stalling.

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Including conversations between takes, mind you…

Whoever’s holding the microphone boom pole needs headphones. They must be able to hear what the microphone’s picking up.

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Tension Breeds Resentment

When taping cables and cords down, always leave a very generous series of loops at each C-stand, tripod, or workstation. This is so you can move stuff around without retaping.

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Remember, though, that power corrupts.

If you don’t know who your boss is on set, then your boss is the Director. This doesn’t mean who gets to boss you around, it means who helps keep you steady-on with your piece of the big puzzle.

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The Wind Sounded Great!

ADR (depending on who you ask) is Automatic Dialogue Replacement. That’s when your actors come in to the studio and record lines over the outside crappy recording from on set. Pretty much every time you record outside, or in a noisy environment (such as a non-studio), you’re going to have to record ADR. Just plan for it.

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Keep an eye on the right things at the right times.

Always check your monitor to make sure you’re happy with your framing, but after that, watch your actors.

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The “Scotty Method” isn’t real.

If the makeup you want is going to take half an hour or an hour to apply, plan for that time. Don’t assume your makeup person is lying about how long it’ll take.

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Leave No Trace!

It’s worth it to buy actual gaffer’s tape. Duct tape leaves a residue and you don’t want that residue on your gear, on your cords, on your host’s carpets, walls, or furniture. Gaffer’s tape is clean.

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Still not a safety line, however…

When connecting one extension cord to another, or an extension cord to a light, try to always tie the cords in a knot before connecting them. That way, if the cords are pulled in opposite directions, they tighten instead of pulling loose.

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“Sudden Massive Tissue Loss” +100 points!

When loading shells in a mortar, try to drop them in with your non-dominant hand (if you’re right-handed, drop with the left hand). That way, if you experience Sudden Massive Tissue Loss, you still have your favorite hand.

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When’s the last time you read the script?

Your Script Supervisor is supposed to get in your face and interfere — their job is to make sure you aren’t screwing anything up. Listen to what’s being said.

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Look! The Sun!

Network, network, network! Meet other people making movies! You’re all in this together and you all offer unique talents. Yes, there’s a lot to be said for keeping your head down and working, but once in a while, you need to get out and meet other filmmakers.

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The world needs more ‘Lerts.

Be secure. Lock your personal stuff in your car or keep it on your person.

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“Fourple”

On a low budget movie set, a lot of people have double, triple, or fourple duties. On a low budget set, “fourple” is a word. No matter what you’re supposed to be doing, chances are, you’ll wind up doing some other things, too.

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After he destroys the Ring, of course.

You can’t just eject the warp core and hope a matter/antimatter explosion will produce a shock wave that let’s you surf out of the event horizon. That’s stupid. Find a more down-to-Earth solution to problems for your story.

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Wish there was a spray for ‘em.

Watch out for drama queens. Drama belongs in front of the camera, not behind it. If they are indispensable, contain them severely. If they are not indispensable, dispense with them.

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Except when they’re in the bathroom.

When writing a script, keep track of each character, and always try to know what they’re doing at any given point in the narrative, even if we never see it in the script or in the movie. Doing this helps keep the timing right, and the rhythm of the movie benefits from it.

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Or even a Furby!

Anyone who thinks animation has to be hyper-realistic in order to be emotionally connective never cried watching Bambi. Conversely, the more realistic an animation is, unless it is indistinguishable from real life, the creepier it is, even if it’s supposed to be happy. At best, you can achieve a creepy sort of happy. Usually, that becomes a “fail.”

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Like peas in a pod.

The Director, the AD, and the Cinematographer should always get on well with each other. Find time to make that happen.

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Yes, even a nuke.

If you must have a live weapon on set, such as a pistol, or a shotgun, or a nuclear weapon, have one expert dedicated to babysitting that object. They must never let it out of their sight. Pay attention to what they have to say. If they say the actor is being unsafe, fix the actor — don’t shush the expert.

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You Can Always Shake it in Post!

Get a tripod! Battlestar: Galactica was a fluke — if you don’t lock that camera down, you’re going to make your viewers queasy. You can pan and tilt and even dolly if you have one, but unless you have a real good compelling reason, please, please, please get that camera on the sticks!

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Even at the dollar store!

If you can’t pipe your sound into your camera, borrow a camera with a microphone jack and use that to record audio. There is no real difference between a ’spensive 16-bit digital recorder and a 10-year old Handicam that records sound in 16 bits. Except, well, cost.

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The Shadow tells…

When shooting with a greenscreen, make sure the model is away from the screen. You don’t want any light reflected back from the greenscreen onto your model. Your effects person will bless your heart, assuming they’re on set.

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Although it’s good to know who’s hungry.

Internal microphones suck. Never use the microphone that’s attached to the camera body.

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The patient net saves $$.

Over time, you can find practically any prop you need at a thrift store, or even the bins store (where the thrift stores dump their excess inventory). The sooner you tell your Art Department what you’re looking for, the cheaper the whole thing’ll be.

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The operative word is “steady”!

A cheap-ass steadicam you built using $15 worth of parts is better than no stabilizing tool at all, especially if you practice diligently with it, but it’s not a $1000 Steadicam, and it’s not realistic to compare the two. Make do with what you’ve got.

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Get. The. Shot.

There are three words that should drive everything in Production: “Get the shot.” The only two types of activities on set are activities that help get the shot and activities that are preventing the shot. Keep the former going, and minimize the latter. Food belongs to the former category, by the way.

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Think of it as “Contemplative Time”

If you can’t cut around bad acting, the best you can hope for is to be saved by your cutaways, and by the reaction shots of other actors. Another alternative is to rewrite the scene on-the-fly to be one of those moody contemplative scenes with billowing cloth and slow-motion cigarette smoke. I suggest you grab lots of cutaways, though.

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Tongues are irreplaceable.

In a pinch, shop light’s do just fine. The color balance is great and they’re cheap as hell. Every home improvement place has ’em. You have to take off those little grills, but you probably would figure that out on your own.

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Sugar is Power.

Bagels and doughnuts are not the same thing. Not even close. No amount of goo spread on a bagel makes it a doughnut. It’s still a bagel, only now it’s a bagel covered in schmeer. If your crew asks for doughnuts, give them doughnuts.

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In a nutshell: Watts = $$

If you find extension cords for sale, especially long ones, get a bunch. Use a sharpie and write your name and contact information on each one, at each end. If you can, get a weird color (I have a purple extension cord that I have never lost), but if not, definitely mark them at each end. And it’s probably the case that you can’t have too many.

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Hell, I’ve been tempted to put my own name in the hat…

Have prize drawings for extras, if you have more than half a dozen. Everybody puts their name in a hat, and at the end of the shoot, draw for prizes. Movies are good prizes. Must be present to win. Helps ’em stick around longer, too.

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Pores might be a bit overboard.

Don’t be afraid to get close with the camera. A movie made all out of long shots (because the Director was afraid to get close) is a movie without any emotional context whatsoever. Get in there and get some of that!

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Beware of Werewolves, However

To simulate a full moon, try strapping a 1K Lowell DP, at the end of your longest tripod or C-stand to the top of a fully extended extension ladder. It worked surprisingly well for us. We were able to cut the light through apple trees, which made for even niftier shadows. Gel it if you want. Spooooooky!

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But Never Surprise Their Bank Accounts!

If you’re going to trigger a cue with a countdown and decide to trigger it early to get a better reaction of surprise, you should be confident your actor(s) can handle the unexpected so you don’t have to reshoot the scene should they break character.

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The Great Red Eye of Disturbance!

If your actors absolutely cannot act whatsoever, or freak out once the camera’s on, make a big noise about your DP turning the camera off while you run through some off-camera rehearsals. Have the DP filming this secretly (“Just pulling focus, guys — don’t mind me!”). No matter how crappy an actor might be, they can usually be themselves with some reasonably convincing skill.

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Well, even if you’re not stealing the shot, too.

If you’re stealing a shot (and we all do it), be quick, quiet, fuss-free, and the bare absolute minimum of crew. Get in, get the shot, and get out.

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Plus, audiences have a short attention span.

It’s probably the case that someone else has done it before, but don’t let that worry you. No one’s done it quite like you plan to, and for each story out there, there are a million variations.

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…or hate it, but I recommend against that.

Making movies is fun. Never forget that. Maybe some folks do it only for the money, but I doubt it. I think they still want to have fun, and making movies is fun. If you’re not having fun, you’re probably not doing it right. Don’t get me wrong — it can be hard work, but the big picture is that it should be fun. Have fun!

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I keep losing my Personal Priority List.

There’s nothing wrong with getting paid, or with volunteering, or with accepting credit and copy. Some people need money, some people need a fun activity, and some people need to build up their portfolio. Everyone has to take care of their own soul, and no one ought to be lording it over anyone else.

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Delete Current Project? (yes | delete | nuke | sorrow)

Do not upgrade your system in the middle of a big project. You can wait until it’s finished, and then do your upgrade. This includes OS upgrades, CPU upgrades, application upgrades, etc.

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Plus, ringtones are embarrassing.

On every shoot, there’s at least one person whose phone rings. The first time it happens, there’s a little bit of razzing, and then you move on quickly. The second time it happens, it’s trouble. If it’s not you that first time, use that tiny bit of razz-time to make sure your phone won’t go off. Even if you’re sure, check again. The second phone must never be you.

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It’s part of the foundation, y’see…

If you don’t have a dedicated makeup person, try to get one. If you can’t, let your actors know as soon as possible, so they can plan ahead. You definitely don’t want them showing up thinking there’s going to be makeup, and then having to do their own at the last minute with whatever tools-on-hand they happen to bring.

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Tick-Tock

Always be on time. Better yet, try to be a little early. Move heaven and earth to make sure you are not the one holding up Production. And if it’s not you, then be a little patient with whoever it is — it’s always got to be somebody, and your patience with that fact can help get things done later. This isn’t the Death Star, y’know…

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You know what looks great in a trailer? Gear!

All actors are Actors. Extras are actors, too. Treat ’em all equally.

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Preparation is the antonym of frustration

Get the script to the actors as soon as possible. Give them time to learn their lines. If they ask about their characters, talk with them and make sure they have all the character notes from the writer. The more they know, the better their performance will be.

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There’s honor, and then there’s practicality

If anything goes wrong, the Director takes the bullet. If anything goes right, the Director thanks whoever did it. It’s unfair, but that’s the way it is, so if you’re the Director, suck it up and move on. Anyone who does it opposite comes across as an asshole and no one likes to work for assholes. Unless they pay a lot of money, but then it wouldn’t be a low budget movie.

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But not the single malt.

Sometimes, after a late shoot, when everyone’s busted hump and created Great Things, it’s okay to overspend the Craft Services budget and treat ‘em to a few beers, or a hot meal at the nearby tavern. Everybody can use a little occasional decompression time with the gang.

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The Director’s supposed to notice these things…

If you notice something that nags at your brain while you’re shooting, fix it then. Learn to trust that little voice. If you don’t at least speak up, then forever afterwards, you’ll see that same glitch and cringe inside. Chances are, three other people have noticed, but no one wants to be the first to say anything.

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Practice, practice, practice!

Rehearse scenes before shooting. If possible, at least a day ahead to give people a chance to work out the kinks, and if not, give them a few hours break between rehearsal and shooting. Actors need to work on their roles, sleep on ’em, and dream a bit. It’s usually worth the effort.

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It was brilliant!

If you can’t light your action, then at least try to light your set. Dark figures moving around in a room can be spooky and still tell a story, but poorly lit figures in a big black meaningless space is hilarious. And not in the way “hilarious” is intended.

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Stay tuned to this spot for new Low-Budget Filmmaker tips posted as fast as we can defrost ’em out of the archives.

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Although we might need a gritty reboot of Gilligan’s Island.

Pick one person to figure out what the actors are wearing during each “day” and to keep track of that for everything you shoot. Give that person the authority to keep costumes and props with them. Unless you’re shooting Gilligan’s Island, people change clothes once a day. The viewers will notice.

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Where the buck actually does stop!

The Director determines the mood of the set. If the Director is cheerful and having a good time, chances are everyone else will be, too. If the Director is being bitchy and fussy and demanding, everyone else gets that way, too. It’s a law of nature.

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Sand makes for a terrible foundation

Make sure the story makes sense and the script makes sense before you start. Cause and effect should make sense. Motivations should be pretty clear. What happens at different times and places should be obvious. The script is the blueprint, and everybody uses it. Where it’s weak, everything else is weak.

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Of course, without a broom, you’re hosed…

Get it right on set – fixing it in post takes ten times as long and is twenty times as expensive as doing it again right there. Probably more, by the time you read this. Yes, I’m guilty of saying “we can fix that in post.” And for each of those instances, yes, I suck.

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Jump in the Line…

Rehearse any physical effect or stunt. Film the rehearsals in case you need some handy pickup footage. If people are rehearsing a physical effect or stunt in costume, even better. After a half dozen rehearsals, you may find that you have the footage you need, with everyone relaxed and focused during shooting. But that’s just a bonus. Rehearse the crazy stuff regardless.

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Safety Third!

Avoid the use of real guns. You can buy fake guns that look just as good as real guns and make realistic sounds in post. It’s practically impossible to hurt someone with a fake gun. Fake guns are cheaper, so you can buy more, which is useful because they often fly to flinders.

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We are very happy to be able to start offering shorts, web episodes, and features through our site via HBM Theater.

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Hellbender Media is thrilled and very proud to be in the script competition in the prestigious H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival, with our ferocious Lovecraftian script Shock Troops.

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UPDATE: The Blood-Red Night of Hatchet Valley won Best Feature Script in competition! Woo-hoo!

Hellbender Media is thrilled and very proud to be competing in the screenplay competition at Shriekfest this year, this time with two scripts: The Blood-Red Night of Hatchet Valley and Shock Troops.

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Hellbender Media and Jeff Punk Rock Martin team up to bring you a 15th anniversary of our first feature film “The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath,” based on a turn-of-the-century fantasy novel by H. P. Lovecraft.

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Hellbender Media will be at Versus Comic Con. In addition to our merch table in the vendors’ room, we’ll be hosting game demos for our new game Hacked Off, and hosting a discussion on low-budget filmmaking.

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Hellbender Media is deeeeeelighted to announce that our short Smooth Moves is one of the films in the bumper competition. Starring Brandie Sylfae and Bill Kelley, Smooth Moves is part of a web series called Head of Household about a delightful family of murderers. Yay!

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Writer/Director Edward Martin III is interviewed on Shriekfest Radio. Listen in to an hour of some of the most breathtaking, funny, and inspiring stuff this side of the Moon. Also available on iTunes.

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We’ll be vending at the Film Festival, and our new script The Knot is in competition.

UPDATE: The Dead won Best Comedy!

The Oregon Independent Film Festival premieres two of our latest projects, The Dead, and Terminal Reflections. The Director, Producers, and members of the cast will be present at the showing as part of the Q&A session afterward.

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The Hellbender Filmmaking Workshop – in glorious color, 100% gluten- and GMO-free! A weekend-long workshop where participants learn hands-on about filmmaking by making a movie that weekend.

The Living Dead Horror Convention will be screening our otherworldly short film Amino Korvoj in their shorts block. Hellbender Media will be there as vendors, sharing all their new zombie-riffic games and movies, too!

This prestigious weeklong film festival is now featuring a special Lovecraft At Midnight channel, including many Lovecraft-inspired movies and Lovecraft adaptations. Hellbender Media will be there presenting our two films Innsmouth Legacy and Come to Us.

Fright Night Film Festival is showing our feature film Flesh of my Flesh, our short film Animo Korvoj, and the script for Through the Night is in official competition.